Critique Lucky#13 *Open Theme*

[ampguy]

RayPA -- man reading paper

The frame and alignment work great for this photo, but there are several elements that confuse me. It is not clear what is in the background. Could it be another train? What is the shadow that looks like a large head, kind of a fish head? or a keyhole?

Because of the detail in the Chronicle, one almost wishes they could read the headline. The texture of the foreground is nice, but maybe could be cropped.

It has many abstract elements, with few hints, which make it an interesting photo.

 

[ampguy]

AOI Photo -- Cameraman : Desolation

Somehow I think this might have worked better as a horizontal photo.

The thing coming out of the top is odd. I don't know what it is. The carnage in the restaurant is massive, but it would be interesting to see a little farther away or to understand what that big black thing is coming out of the top of the restaurant.

The tones and shades indicate it's a hot humid day, and the photographer has just begun surveying this destroyed restaurant site.

 

[ampguy]

Todd -- Cafe

I like this one a lot. There is nothing artsy fartsy about it trying to create artificial mystery. It is a photo anyone can relate to, and understand all the elements of it quickly. The Cafe tower seems a little manipulated, perhaps yo did some PS work with the sky and the edges have some artifacts.

I think I would lighten up the image a touch, and maybe increase the contrast between the sidewalk/road and sky a touch. Possibly crop a tad off the right.

 

[AOI Photo]

Warren T.
I like this picture, well maybe like is the wrong word, I am affected by it might be better. The smashed windsheild, with the reflected teepees immediatlymakes me think of racially motivated violence. The picture has a lot of power. I might crop in a little bit so the blackness of the whole touches the edge of the frame, then print wiht a white border to define it. But that;s personal taste and some nitpicking

Ray Pa
I really like the composition and placement of subjetc in the frame. I find the eye drawn to him by the blank space below, then drawn up to the gaop in the vertical lines above. I might crop a little bit into the bottom, and the reflection is a bit distracting (but is the curse of those of us with rangefindes polorazirs not being very practical)

Amp Guy.
The abstract nature of this shot is great. I think I would up the contrast a bit, for a small print, but for a large print I'd leave it as it is allowing it to be a bit more abstract. In the smaller size though I think it would need the added pop.

Todd.

Love the composition, I'd just crop in slightly from the right to remove the partial car. I'd also bump the contrast a little. Really love the look of this. Given the neon running up the CAfe sign I"d love to see it at night too.

 

[Todd.Hanz]

Warren:
I see it's a car window that is broken, I see the dashboard beyond the glass, I also see the tee pees so my guess is a roadside park? I like the composition with the hole on the upper right side and the safe-T glass splintering off like a spiders web. This image could be used to describe the condition of the reservations we have corraled the American Indian on to, and it could also just be a shot of a broken car window

As far as a way to improve this one, leave it as is, it's great!

ampguy:
I like the patterns and the perspective you chose, on my monitor the image has very subdued colors, almost BW. I agree with Ray that this would look good matted. It looks like you git here after a rainshower and the stones are starting to dry which adds to the contrast. I would play with the levels/curves to bring down the highlights a bit and emphasize the color and darker areas, nice work!

Ray:
I see something different everytime I look at it, your reflection repeated is pretty cool. The face on the paper is spooky, then there is a reflection of a baseball player swinging a bat in the upper right corner??? The contrast is great, I have no idea how to improve it, it's really cool like it is, well done.

AOI:
I get the impression the photog is lost or at least saying to himself "where do I begin?" this is a good documentary shot with lots of contrast and grain which adds to the feel. What happened here is what I ask myself when I look at it.

I guess I would like to see a bit more, this might work well in a series where there is another image taken further back to show the area. I am interested in more info on this one, good job!

Thanks agian guys, I appreciate the comments on my photo!

Todd

 

[Todd.Hanz]

My photo was one taken on a cross country trip, the kind where everyone has to pee in every town you come into. This place was across the road from where we stopped, it looked frozen in time.

I have cropped it as was suggested , bumped the contrast a bit and feel it looks better, the "artifacts" around the cafe sign is neon tubing, AOI caught it .

thanks for the suggestions,
Todd

 

[Warren T.]

AmpGuy:

I went back and took a 2nd look at "Stones", and I find that the more I look at it, the more I like it . It does have interesting patterns and contrast between the puddles and the subtle colors of the stones.

As Todd pointed out, it appears to be shot after a rain shower. This image made me think back of those pleasurable times when I was on vacation, walking through the musty, cobbled streets of an old European town.

It really took me back. Nice!

--Warren

 

[ampguy]

thanks all. I feel it has a tad more contrast and depth than what I was able to post with the thumbnail constraints.

If you get a chance and have broadband, check out this 1.3mb file, and tell me if you still think it needs touch up. thanks.

http://www.tedm.com/photos/stones.jpg

 

[AOI Photo]

Hmm. Thanks all. I admit it never occured to me to remove the black building. There isn't telephoto making it look close (50mm lens) it just is that close. It is such a part of that well known, in Dallas, neghborhood which burned, so including that part of it made sense to me. Of course if you aren't from Dallas it doesn't mean much. Should have thought of that.
I heard they were letting people near the fire scene the day after it happened, so I went down with what I had in the car. What I had was a roll of hp5 and My Bessa R/ Jupiter 8 combo. I'd have given anything to have my elmar 90 with me that day. As for the comment about Mex Mex. In Texas almost all "mexican" resteraunts are Tex-Mex. This one was actually a more upmarket resteraunt serving more traditional cuisine. I took a number of shots that day. Now that everyones done the critique here are a couple more since people asked.

 

[AOI Photo]

Todd,
LOVE it with more contrast and the crop. I'd say print, matte, frame it's done.

Amp guy.
I think it might need a (very little) bit more contrast for a small print. It definately has more contrast than I thought though. On a larger print I'd leave it alone.

 

[RayPA]

My photo was one taken on a cross country trip, the kind where everyone has to pee in every town you come into. This place was across the road from where we stopped, it looked frozen in time.

I have cropped it as was suggested , bumped the contrast a bit and feel it looks better, the "artifacts" around the cafe sign is neon tubing, AOI caught it .

thanks for the suggestions,
Todd

It looks great, Todd! Bumped up it still has the "Todd" look!

 

[RayPA]

Hmm. Thanks all. I admit it never occured to me to remove the black building. There isn't telephoto making it look close (50mm lens) it just is that close. It is such a part of that well known, in Dallas, neghborhood which burned, so including that part of it made sense to me. Of course if you aren't from Dallas it doesn't mean much. Should have thought of that.
I heard they were letting people near the fire scene the day after it happened, so I went down with what I had in the car. What I had was a roll of hp5 and My Bessa R/ Jupiter 8 combo. I'd have given anything to have my elmar 90 with me that day. As for the comment about Mex Mex. In Texas almost all "mexican" resteraunts are Tex-Mex. This one was actually a more upmarket resteraunt serving more traditional cuisine. I took a number of shots that day. Now that everyones done the critique here are a couple more since people asked.

Quite a fire! Now I see what that black structure is! Thanks.

 

[Warren T.]

Hi guys,

Thank you very much for your comments. I really appreciate all the thought and effort that you put into it.

Here is some background info on my picture. I first saw this location on a PBS documentary. It's the Wigwam Hotel in Holbrook, Arizona. My wife and I were on a 3250 mile driving trip through the U.S. southwest. We had to stop in Holbrook to see this place. The Wigwam Hotel was part of a chain of hotels where the cabins were built to resemble Indian Teepees, but the insides were more like a typical motel cabin complete with bed and small bathrooms.

Holbrook is part of historic Route 66, so the owner parked a bunch of vintage cars in the parking lot in front of the Teepee cabins to add the appropriate atmosphere. Many of the cars were just junked old cars that were used as props. So, I took the usual tourist pictures to document the place for my memories of the vacation. Then I spotted this old rusted out Ford with the shattered window, and I thought that I could make a picture that would have some emotional impact, something more than a typical documentary tourist shot.

To answer one of the questions, no, the black area was not digitally manipulated. I knew that the dynamic range of the picture would dictate that this area would be black if I wanted the other areas to turn out the way they did. As for the crop, I wanted the viewer to see that this window belonged to a car. Ray was right, I intended it to be part of the theme. It's actually the rear passeger window, and what looks like the dash is actually the rear deck. I also have a shot of the dash, but it didn't show the reflection of the Teepee cabins that I wanted to include in the shot. A closer crop of just the shattered glass and teepees without the edge information (or background highlights) would have lost some information that I wanted to include.

--Warren

 

[RayPA]

Hi guys,

Thank you very much for your comments. I really appreciate all the thought and effort that you put into it.

Here is some background info on my picture. I first saw this location on a PBS documentary. It's the Wigwam Hotel in Holbrook, Arizona. My wife and I were on a 3250 mile driving trip through the U.S. southwest. We had to stop in Holbrook to see this place. The Wigwam Hotel was part of a chain of hotels where the cabins were built to resemble Indian Teepees, but the insides were more like a typical motel cabin complete with bed and small bathrooms.

Holbrook is part of historic Route 66, so the owner parked a bunch of vintage cars in the parking lot in front of the Teepee cabins to add the appropriate atmosphere. Many of the cars were just junked old cars that were used as props. So, I took the usual tourist pictures to document the place for my memories of the vacation. Then I spotted this old rusted out Ford with the shattered window, and I thought that I could make a picture that would have some emotional impact, something more than a typical documentary tourist shot.

To answer one of the questions, no, the black area was not digitally manipulated. I knew that the dynamic range of the picture would dictate that this area would be black if I wanted the other areas to turn out the way they did. As for the crop, I wanted the viewer to see that this window belonged to a car. Ray was right, I intended it to be part of the theme. It's actually the rear passeger window, and what looks like the dash is actually the rear deck. I also have a shot of the dash, but it didn't show the reflection of the Teepee cabins that I wanted to include in the shot. A closer crop of just the shattered glass and teepees without the edge information (or background highlights) would have lost some information that I wanted to include.

--Warren

That's a great story, Warren. It adds even more impact to the statement expressed in the photo. I agree that losing the evidence of the car would cause the image to lose some impact. Without the reality behind the broken window showing, it could easily appear to have been a composite image of two separate elements. In fact, it would be nice to somehow include the location into the title, maybe as a subtitle, like: tourist stop Arizona, route 66 . Thanks for the back story!

 

[Warren T.]

Ray, I go back and forth on the title thing. I was very interested in hearing everyone's initial impressions while not knowing where my picture was shot, and under what circumstances. If I had included the location (and that it was a tourist stop), knowing it may have caused a totally different emotional reaction. I would love to hear yours and everyone else's opinion on this.

--Warren

 

[RayPA]

Ray, I go back and forth on the title thing. I was very interested in hearing everyone's initial impressions while not knowing where my picture was shot, and under what circumstances. If I had included the location (and that it was a tourist stop), knowing it may have caused a totally different emotional reaction. I would love to hear yours and everyone else's opinion on this.

--Warren

I think that knowing it is a tourist stop works to the advantage of the image and the statement/commentary it makes. I kind of thought it was a tourist stop or exhibit of some kind, originally. I think it also adds to the reality of the image. As Ted alluded to, the image could have been digitally created--that thought crossed my mind originally, too. That it wasn't and that this place exists is pretty cool.

 

[RayPA]

RayPA -- man reading paper

The frame and alignment work great for this photo, but there are several elements that confuse me. It is not clear what is in the background. Could it be another train? What is the shadow that looks like a large head, kind of a fish head? or a keyhole?

Because of the detail in the Chronicle, one almost wishes they could read the headline. The texture of the foreground is nice, but maybe could be cropped.

It has many abstract elements, with few hints, which make it an interesting photo.

Ted, I don't see exactly what it is you're referring to. There is my shadow repeating a couple of times. The headline reads "US Warns North Korea."

 

[ampguy]

Top 1/3rd

Top 1/3rd

Ray, above the guy's head, the top 1/3rd or so, there are some vertical blinds or something in the glass. There are some reflections, or an outline in the blinds of what looks like a big fish head with, with the mouth in the wrong position, kind of football shaped. ??

I have 20/20 vision this close, and can't make out the text without your help, so I would not expect your viewers to see this text, unless you were making it poster size.

Ted, I don't see exactly what it is you're referring to. There is my shadow repeating a couple of times. The headline reads "US Warns North Korea."

 

[RayPA]

Ray, above the guy's head, the top 1/3rd or so, there are some vertical blinds or something in the glass. There are some reflections, or an outline in the blinds of what looks like a big fish head with, with the mouth in the wrong position, kind of football shaped. ??

I have 20/20 vision this close, and can't make out the text without your help, so I would not expect your viewers to see this text, unless you were making it poster size.

LOL! That's my reflection. I'm holding the camera up vertically. My elbows are sticking out. The same reflection that is repeated smaller further into the image. My close range eyesight is getting worse and worse and I can read the newspaper, but I think it could do with a dodge to bring it up. I get your point. Thanks, Ted.

 

[ampguy]

Lol!!

Lol!!

Well ok, now I see it, now that you mention the arms up and elbows. Obviously you don't have a fish head, at least the times I've seen you

Nevertheless, I find that top 1/3rd distracting.

LOL! That's my reflection. I'm holding the camera up vertically. My elbows are sticking out. The same reflection that is repeated smaller further into the image. My close range eyesight is getting worse and worse and I can read the newspaper, but I think it could do with a dodge to bring it up. I get your point. Thanks, Ted.