I Am Here But I Am Not: The Poetry of Heidi Schneider 1986-2020

Jason Schneider

the Camera Collector
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Greetings Friends!
I am very excited to announce the release of
I Am Here But I Am Not
Available Now


Order Here: Please go to www.heidischneiderpoetry.com for more information and to order the book.

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Heidi's kaleidoscopic imagery is breathtaking, but it is rendered in the service of a higher purpose--expressing her life experiences, her emotions, and her state of being in the world with consummate specificity and fierce affirmation. Heidi Schneider is the perfect poet for these tumultuous times, but she is also a poet for the ages.




"i weighed myself against the moon,

i took two straight steps past the moment

which i cast in the moonlight,

heavy in the light

as the winds and gravity of the world

help up my heart for you to taste..."



-Excerpt

For inquiries regarding distribution, engagements, in-store events, or permissions, email Jason @ [email protected]

All Rights Reserved ©2022 Jason Schneider
 
Heidi is not the first artist who left this world before their work was well known.

Jason is not the first fan or family member left to pick up the pieces of great but unknown work.

Heidi's view and look at the world is brave, unflinching, gifted.

For a glimpse of Life's promise lost, read Heidi Schneider's poetry written for an audience of one.

Its worth the trip.
 
I think ‘held up my heart..’

I edited the poems as little as possible, and that is what Heidi wrote. "Held up my heart" certainly works, but it's the more conventional and expected phrase. Her raw manuscripts were beset with many typos that I swatted, but since the P and D keys are widely separated I surmise that this was not a typo but what she intended. And it does kind of stop you in your tracks and make you think!
 
My daughter recently joined an activity group for younger medical survivors, we went to a gathering yesterday. She finds it easy to make friends in this group, a lot of common experiences shared. I suspect a number of the members would enjoy the poetry in this book. All of them have been through a lot in their young lives. Years ago I bought "Reach for the Moon" by Samantha Abeel for Nicole, she could relate to it.
 
I edited the poems as little as possible, and that is what Heidi wrote. "Held up my heart" certainly works, but it's the more conventional and expected phrase. Her raw manuscripts were beset with many typos that I swatted, but since the P and D keys are widely separated I surmise that this was not a typo but what she intended. And it does kind of stop you in your tracks and make you think!

Forgive me: if it’s hers then ‘stet’ as the editor might mark.
 
In April 2017, I was diagnosed with adenocarcinoma of the descending colon. It was successfully removed, and I went through 7 months of chemo (was supposed to be 6, but there were complications). At 3 months shy of my 50th birthday, I qualified as a "young" colon cancer patient, but, obviously, not as young as Heidi. In November 2020, a CT scan showed a ~2cm little "something" in my liver that was assumed to be metastasis of the original cancer, and that was confirmed when it was removed at the end of December. So far, I'm almost 2 years cancer free since then, so it's looking like my cancer treatment is hopefully complete. (I have learned not to say "I'm done!" or "I'm finished!" as that can freak some people out who assume the worst!). I'll be "probably cancer free" if I can get to the end of 2025 without it coming back.

Anyway, I just ordered the book. I'll share it with my wife. Thank you for making this happen.
 
In April 2017, I was diagnosed with adenocarcinoma of the descending colon. It was successfully removed, and I went through 7 months of chemo (was supposed to be 6, but there were complications). At 3 months shy of my 50th birthday, I qualified as a "young" colon cancer patient, but, obviously, not as young as Heidi. In November 2020, a CT scan showed a ~2cm little "something" in my liver that was assumed to be metastasis of the original cancer, and that was confirmed when it was removed at the end of December. So far, I'm almost 2 years cancer free since then, so it's looking like my cancer treatment is hopefully complete. (I have learned not to say "I'm done!" or "I'm finished!" as that can freak some people out who assume the worst!). I'll be "probably cancer free" if I can get to the end of 2025 without it coming back.

Anyway, I just ordered the book. I'll share it with my wife. Thank you for making this happen.

Thanks very much for your kind words. I hope you enjoy the book of Heidi’s poetry and I send you my best wishes for a complete recovery from this devastating disease. Unfortunately Heidi was already stage 4 when initially diagnosed and they found free floating cancer cells in the peritoneal fluid when they drained her lower abdomen to alleviate ascites. Heidi was an RN and a very competent nurse and we both knew that from that point she only had a year to go. Heidi never completed her circuit on the relay race of life, but she did pass the baton to two beautiful sons, Nathaniel, 13, and Abraham, 4-1/2. Blessings upon you.
 
My daughter recently joined an activity group for younger medical survivors, we went to a gathering yesterday. She finds it easy to make friends in this group, a lot of common experiences shared. I suspect a number of the members would enjoy the poetry in this book. All of them have been through a lot in their young lives. Years ago I bought "Reach for the Moon" by Samantha Abeel for Nicole, she could relate to it.

Thanks very much for your perspective, and best wishes to your daughter. Based on the reactions of hundreds of people who’ve read Heidi’s poetry, I think her appeal transcends demographic categories. However her work definitely resonates especially strongly with young women and survivors of trauma, so I would commend it to the members of your daughter’s support group. Godspeed to both of you.
 
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